Birth Control
by Contained Within A Box
Summary: AU Edward brings up a very uncomfortable subject for him, his sexuality, to Roy, who is merely amused. Gay!Edward. NOT Roy/Edward. Parental!RoyEd.


Title: Birth Control

Pairings: Brief onesided Winry/Ed. And I repeat: THIS IS **NOT** A ROYED FANFIC.

Summary: AU Edward brings up a very uncomfortable subject for him, his sexuality, to Roy, who is merely amused. Gay!Edward. NOT Roy/Edward. Parental!RoyEd.

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA.

IIIII

It's a calming thing to know that if Edward is ever having a harsh day, he can drive on over to Roy's house. Edward has known Roy ever since he was, well, a baby. As far back as he can recall the man has been one of his fathers best friends. And even when Hohenheim and Trisha divorced when he was seven, Roy stuck around to play surrogate father (albiet a little awkwardly since the man has no children of his own) when Ed and Al's own father went off and disappeared.

So it's not unusual to see Edwards silver PT Cruiser parked in the driveway of 266 Viena Drive. Sure, Ed and Roy often butt heads, but its only because they're so stubborn. The eighteen year old is naturally rebellious and Roy is from the military, so he likes to have his rules and regulations followed (or else).

On this day Edward is particularly nervous as he drives over after dinner. He specifically asked Winry to ask Al out to a movie so he wouldn't tag along for the ride. It's all because Edward has a secret, something that's eating away at him inside, and he is unsure how much longer he can keep it in without bursting. It's something he's known for a very long time . . . but was unwilling to admit it to himself. It's cliche`, he knows, but what gay person hasn't questioned themselves thoroughly and over a hundred thousand times? Atleast, Ed has.

It's weird because Edward, for the most part, doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks. There's only four people in this word who's opinions matter and these four people are eventually going to find out when they question why he's never had a girlfriend. His mother has already raised the question of why he doesn't date Winry. Edward wants to - God, how he _wants _to - but he simply can't do it. He couldn't lead along his best friend like that. She's obviously attracted to him, this much he can tell, but the attraction is only onesided. Of course he thinks Winry is pretty; he would be a fool to say otherwise. But it's a platonic relationship.

All of these different reasons not to do this are popping into his head as he sits in the driveway of Roy's home. Maybe he'll change. What if Roy thinks he's disgusting? What if Roy tells Al or Winry or his mother? Edward doesn't know what Roys stance on homosexuality is. Theres a chance that Roy will reject him completely.

_And theres also a chance that you could get hit with a meteorite as soon as you step out of your car_, a small voice retorts. _Now get your ass in the house and do this before you chicken out!_

Edward sighs and gets out of his beloved PT Cruiser. He doesn't even have to knock on the door. He merely goes in and announces his presence with, "Oi, bastard! I'm here!"

Roy comes out of the living room, which is to the left. He has a TV guide in one hand and a beer in the other. "You've stepped into my home, Ed. You should be more polite to your host. It's Mr. Bastard from here on out."

Edward smirks and says, "If _you _were polite you'd give me a beer."

"Your mother would kill me and you know it," responds Roy with a chuckle. "Where's Al? I thought he would be coming to watch the movie with us."

"Nah, he's out with Winry to an actual theatere." The blonde-haired teenager follows Roy into the living room, where he takes a seat on the couch. Roy sets his beer on the coffee table, glaring at Ed just daring for him to touch it whilst he isn't looking, and pops in some horror movie they're both sure to dislike but enjoy it if only for the fact that it's so horrid.

Roy settles in his spot on the couch, sipping his beer and Edward knows that is now or never. He should get it over with, put out there, put it all out on the line right now because if he doesn't he's afraid he'll never do it. But how should he approach the subject? He can't outright say, "I'm gay". And he's not good at beating around the bush; he's always been a very blunt person.

As the opening credits roll Edward opens his mouth to say something but closes it. Its as though the word "gay" doesn't want to pass over his tongue and through his lips. It stays firmly clamped behind his teeth. He grinds them in frustration and crosses his arms.

He doesn't have to say anything though before Roy says, "Come out with it already."

Fearing that he'd already been found out before actually saying anything, Edward's eyebrows shoot up and he says, "What?"

"You look like you want to say something. And I'm not really watching this anyway, it doesn't look as though it'll be any good, so why don't you come out with it already?"

Edward squirms uncomfortably in his seat.

"Don't tell me - you shrunk an inch."

"Shutup!" Edward snaps. "That's hardly the case."

"Oh come on, Ed, you know I'm pretty easy going. Whatever you have to say isn't going to shock me."

"Well I hope it's not blatantly obvious . . . " he murmurs. _Is it? _He wonders. _What if everyones already picked up on it somehow?_

Roy pauses the movie and drums his fingers on the arm of the couch in waiting. When Edward doesn't say anything for another minute Roy says, "Do we have to play twenty questions to get it out of you? Ummm . . . is it related to an animal?"

"You're a jerk," sneers Ed. "Maybe I don't want to tell you."

"You did just a minute ago."

"That's before you began taunting me."

"I'm trying to create a relaxed mood, Ed, so you don't feel so tense. I assure you that whatever you have to say to me is not as big of a deal as you appear to think."

"It is a big deal! For me, atleast. I mean I've struggled with it for years and its not easy for me to admit, okay? I've never admitted it to anyone, not even Al, so just shutup and give me a minute, okay?"

Roy raises his hands in surrender.

Edward simmers down and then snaps, "Maybe . . . maybe I'm kinda . . . gay."

"Kind of? Isn't that called bisexuality?"

"Okay, I'm more than 'kind of' gay! I'm really friggin gay!"

Roy lets out a long laugh then notices Edward's offended face so he immediately stopped. Coughing awkwardly he says, "Um, I would apologize but, you know, the way you yelled that and worded it made it hilarious. I wish I had had a video camera so I could play it back to you."

Edward throws his arms up in defeat. "Really friggin great of you, Roy. I tell you the biggest secret I have and you laugh!"

"What? You want me to be all somber and tell you that you're too young to know what you're talking about and you should try to change?"

The young blonde throws him a weird look. "You . . . don't feel that way, right?"

"Ed, no. You've got me all wrong. I'm completely okay with you being gay. I mean, yeah, I should have noticed it sooner what with your poster of Jensen Ackles hanging right beside your bed."

Edward can't help but get a tinge of red in his cheeks. "This is so embarrassing . . . "

Roy smirks down at him. "I'm quite amused. What, did you think I would run away screaming?"

"Well-"

"You're not a radioactive mutant, Ed, you're just gay. Despite what people seems to think being gay is a natural thing. I mean, if there is a God, I would assume that gay people are his birth control."

"Did you just insinuate that I'm birth control?"

"The Lord works in mysterious ways." Roy tries to keep a straight face but a grin breaks out.

Edward rolls his eyes and lets out a nervous laugh. "This is turning out a lot better than I expected."

"As I said Ed I'm not going to run screaming. I don't think anyone who is close to you would. I think Winry would be somewhat disappointed but otherwise I think you'll be fine."

"I don't want Al to be grossed out or something."

"Al is very, very mature. And that boy looks up to you like you're the second coming. I doubt anything you could do short of murdering a kitten could make him dislike you."

"What about mom?"

"Your mother?" echoes Roy. "I think she'll be all too happy to know that you are being you. She wouldn't want you to be unhappy via keeping it all to yourself. Besides, when you get a boyfriend—" Edward groans aloud at the word "—she'll dote on him as though he's a member of the family."

"She's always going on about grandkids though. How she'll spoil them rotten."

"Adoption is always an option," responds Roy with a shrug.

"It wouldn't be the same."

"Artificial insemination?"

Edward makes a face.

"Sorry I suggested it," mumbles Roy.

"I just don't want anyone at school to know. I don't want my senior year to be a living hell because I'm suddenly 'the gay kid'," says the teenager reluctantly.

"If you only tell me, Trisha, Al, and Winry you have no worries about your secret getting out. I know that I'll never tell. Besides, who'd believe me? You're so _manly _and everything . . . "

He grinds his teeth once again. "You're infuriating!" He exclaims.

"You don't have to be so nervous about it is all I'm saying. You can't change who you are and I wouldn't want you to try. Just make sure you find yourself a good boyfriend who doesn't mind me poking fun at him every once and a while."

After a moment of silence Edward says, "Not that I care but . . . what do you think Hohenheim would say?" (Edward had stopped calling Hohenheim 'father' the day he stopped being one.)

Giving him the best answer he says, "Who the hell cares, really? The mans far gone and I'm the one sitting here talking to you, not him."

Edward smiles widely and says, "Thanks, Roy. I kinda needed to be told I'm not a freak."

"Don't get me wrong - you're still weird, but it's wholy unrelated to your homosexuality."

"You never stop, do you? You're like a broken record set to 'annoy'."

"Lets just watch the rest of the movie."

Roy turns it on and a few minutes later he says, "Ed?"

"What?" He grumbles.

"Is that guy hot? I wouldn't know, see, cause I'm not gay, but in your expert opinion—"

"Shutup before I punch you."

IIIII

**I would very much appreciate reviews. And if you're just going to flame me to tell me 'blah, blah, blah Edward isn't gay how dare you blah, blah, blah' save it for someone who would listen. Constructive critism is always welcome, though!**

**Also, random Jensen Ackles reference ftw! If any of you know who he is you get a cookie and a hug.**


End file.
